The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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