i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think I sprained my soul last night
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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