We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
