I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
