three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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