I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
