I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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