it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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