Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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