My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
