idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
