as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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