She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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