My room smells like vodka and shame
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
