im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
