Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Randomize
