your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
