Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
