thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just found a bag of teeth...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
