Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
