Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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