Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
