I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
