Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
