After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
