So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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