I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
