is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's rum buckets o'clock
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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