summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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