I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
