Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
