I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
