I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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