I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
