I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
