Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
