Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
