I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
sex in a hospital.. check
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
