D3 body, D1 cock
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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