Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
