Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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