I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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