Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
