if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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