i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
