Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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