so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
