so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
