Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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