Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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