Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
